UNDERSTANDING YOUR SELF
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Written by tony benjamin
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Sunday, 02 March 2008 |
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Your strong points. You have learned that the secret of good grooming is making the most of yourself. This does not mean that you simply "make do" with what you have. Nor does it mean that you will get the effect you want merely by washing your face or putting on a new suit. To make the most of yourself. you must find your strong points and develop them. Of course this applies to your personaliry, too.
Your personality. like your eyes and skin. is usually on view. It can be your greatest asset. But in neally all people it can stand a bit of improvement. What you read here will help you to understand yourself and to improve youI' personality.
What personality is. Your personality includes those aspects of yourself that others see. It also refers to the actual inner person, yourself. Other people judge your personality by what you present to them-the way you move. the way vou dress, the way you speak. the way you react to situations, and so on. But to the 'inner you" your personality is what you think about yourself.
You know more about yourself than lny other person because you live with
yourself twenty-four hours a day. You are the only one who knows youI' inner thoughts. and you are the only one who really knows how you feel about yourself.
Nevertheless. how people judge your personality and how you think and feel about yourself are closely related. What you think about yourself largely governs the way your feel. the way you behave, and the way your gel along with other people.
Your personality is the sum of your habits of doing and thinking. as you have learned. These personality habits include physical and mental characteristics. ternperarnent, intelligence, and emotions.
Your appearance and behavior. You are judged by other people on the basis of how you look to them and on the basis er youI' behavior.
Your appearance is the first thing that other people notice. How you appear to other people is so important that you should take an inventory of your appearance. In Unit I your studied the basic elements of good grooming. It is now up to you to use this knowledge. Is your posture good? Is your skin clear? ATe your' nails clean and neatly trimmed? Is your hair well-groomed? Do you dress in good taste and in a manner that fits your personality?
When we speak of behavior, we are not talking about behavior in the same sense that people mean by the word behave when they say, "Behave yourself." By behavior we mean the manner in which you react to situations that arise every day, for example. the way you accept a task in school or your share of work at home. The first idea people have of you. the idea based on the way you look, is soon affected by the judgment they make of the way you behave. Your behavior re?veals your personality. It shows your atti?tudes. your habits, your emotions, and other deep-seated qualities that make you what you are.
Heredity and environment. You do not inherit your personality as such. But you do inherit certain physical and mental characteristics. Your personality depends to a large measure on how you develop and what use you make of these physical and mental traits. In this development your environment-that is. the place where you live and the people you know, your church, your school. all your sur?roundings-is important.
There is much debate as to which affects your personality the most. your heredity or your environment. Many people who have studied the question say that environment is the more important of the two in shaping personality. You will find much to support this view. For example. you may have known or read about able persons who started on a life of crime in a bad neighborhood. On the other hand. however, you may know about people who have risen above their surroundings by reason of some outstanding talent or effort.
If you look carefully at your own personality, you will undoubtedly find the marks of both heredity and environment. Indeed you will find it hard to separate the influence of one from the other.
Your experiences. Your experiences also help to make you the person you are. Many of these experiences happen at home. Others take place at work. at school. or at play. They are all pan of day-to-day living. Your teachers in high school have in mind the importance of new and helpful experiences when they introduce you to different studies. to clubs, and to such interests as plays. music, an. and sports,
Why people are different. It is easy to see why people grow up into different individuals. For one thing, no two people have exactly the same physical make-up. No two people. even brothers and sisters, have just the same heredity, live in exactly the same environment. or have quite the same things happen to them. You are the only person in the world with your personality.
How your personality grows depends largely on what you do with the basic assets and defects with which you were horn and how you use the experiences that you meet every day to make yourself into a bener person.
There are certain characterisucs, however, which seem to be pan of every icalthy personality. Among them are 'motional balance. physical poise. sincerity, a sense of responsibility, a desire to be friendly. and a sense of humor.
The meaning of mental health. The mentally healthy person can reason well. form judgments. govern his emotions, and in general direct his behavior to the end he desires.
Your mental health cannot be sepa?rated from your physical health. To be sure, it has to do with the processes of ihe mind. But there is no clear-cut line between mind and body. What affects the mind affects the body and what affects the body affects the mind. An individual requires. for personal happiness and success. a sound mind in a healthy body.
You know that there are different degrees of health. both mental and physical. To be physically healthy is more than not being sick. There are many people who are not sick in bed. but still they are not so healthy as they should be.
The same observation can be made about mental health. Serious mental disorders are called psychoses, and they often require different treatments. There are people. however, who have no serious mental disorders but who still are not so healthy mentally as they should be. Many people are unhappy. They do not enjoy themselves very often. They do not get out of life the things they should get out of it. In fact, the health of the normal mind can general1y be improved.
Happiness is a relative thing. No normal person is happy a1l the time. Life isn't like that. We all have days when we feel that the world is wonderful. On those days we are sure that our work is worthwhile. and that we are living successfully. We also have days when everything seems to go wrong. when even our best friends gel on our nerves. On such days we generally feel depressed. But these "ups and downs" are part of normal living. Certainly they are nothing to worry about, unless the "downs" last too long and are too severe.
Your needs and mental health. To be mentally healthy, you must satisfy certain emotional and social needs, just as you must fulfi1l certain physical needs if you are to stay physically well.
Everyone needs love and affection and needs to give them. We a1l want to know that someone wants us and cares what
happens to us. We must also feel that we belong"-belong to a family, to a group, andto a community. We must feel that we have a definite place in the world.
A sense of security also seems to be necessary for a person's well-being. However, you should realize that most people do not arrive at absolute security. In fact, mnany great thinkers believe that it is a good thing we don't, They fear that if ee became completely secure, it would weaken our drive to creative action and independent thought .
The need for security does not mean that you should worry constantly about maintaining your position or live in a never-ending state of fear. Worry and fear are also harmful to creative action. You should realize, however, that security, like happiness, is a relative thing. As one teen-ager put it, "You should have more of it than you don't have."
Everyone needs to feel that other people respect him. But before you can enjoy this feeling. you must respect yourself. Respect for yourself may come from satisfaction with what you yourself have achieved. Everyone needs to succeed some of the time. Still, the feeling of satisfaction that comes from your own achievements is relative to the goals that you set for yourself.
If you have set your goals too high, you may never feel that you have achieved success, even thougb other people think you have. Jf the goals are too low, you are apt to coast along. not using all of your ability. In either case you will be deceiving yourself. Your goals should be such that to reach them takes real effort on your part. On the other hand, they must not be impossible to reach.
A creed that psychologists have devel- oped for good mental health is: Know yourself. Be yourself. Accept yourself.
A mentally healthy person doesn't brood about his personality problems, but sets about making constructive changes. He sets up sensible goals,. learns how to improve his personality, and prac?tices the skills that are necessary for that improvement.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 03 March 2008 )
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